This story is appearing on Fanfiction, and I decided to write it after reading all three books.
I found the setting brilliant, the concept intriguing, and, as a government official and historian, wondering about two aspects of the situation:
The adults who fought the war
How the nation would pick up the pieces
I found the teenage love triangle annoying — like most teenage love triangle plots — but the concept of oppressed citizens fighting for freedom, gaining it, and rebuilding, to be fascinating stuff.
As you’ve seen, these folks are all adults. The closest to a teenager is the photographer, Ace Archer, who is kind of a “mismatched buddy” for our narrator. When I plotted this out, I saw him as a mix of “humorous sidekick” and “dramatic internal conflict,” as you have already seen.
I plotted this carefully before I wrote a word…I know how this will come out. It will take a long time, though.
One of the hardest things in this was coming up with names…fortunately, the Baseball Register solves that problem.
Yes, names are always a problem. I spend more time over names than I do plot and actual writing. The trouble with writing fiction is that it has to "feel" real or possible, and remain consistent to the "physics" of the universe it takes place in. You, as the writer can change a lot of stuff, so long as you're consistent. And, when you're playing in someone else's sandbox, you have to remain somewhat consistent to the "physics" of the place that they've already established.
One of the major flaws of the Harry Potter Series, and the Star Wars series, besides the messed up timelines, is that the author(s) were not consistent in the physics of the universe they created, too many exceptions to the "rules" that they establish from the first book. As a writer, you might create your laws of physics, but, once established, you cannot break those laws of physics.
I think that Collins did a good job in remaining true to the laws of physics that her first book established.
I was thinking that at nineteen your photographer is a bit too worldly and too cynical. I am presuming that there's a reason for that and the dialog seems to be bringing some of that out. I assume that he has an interesting back story that will/is be hinted at but that you will not lay out in your story.
As you might have seen, I've dropped my own story in my substack yesterday. I did it all at once instead of installments. Aside from a couple of typos, it was done and as polished as I was going to get it. I'm looking forward to the reviews.
In her later books, J.K. Rowling reached out to big fans of the “Harry Potter” series to keep her new works straight with what she had done before.
Paramount has a “Trekker” on the staff of its “Star Trek” team to ensure that the Andorians don’t look like Romulans.
I took a screenwriting class once. A student in it who had a disabling physical issue wrote a screenplay about a super-cop who gets injured and has to deal with partial paralysis. Obviously the usual thinly-disguised autobiography, but he did it well.
The problem was that his two cops were “Joe DeLuxe,” the cop who gets hurt, and his buddy was “Greg Standard.”
The instructor told him point-blank to change the names. I suggested the “Baseball Register.” I added that a name from that book could provide ethnicity and therefore, background.
"I was thinking that at nineteen your photographer is a bit too worldly and too cynical. I am presuming that there's a reason for that and the dialog seems to be bringing some of that out. I assume that he has an interesting back story that will/is be hinted at but that you will not lay out in your story."
The photographer grew up in the Capitol, which is the epicenter of cynicism. Because he's a photographer, he sees the world through a lens, and that has given him an interesting focus and view of it. More so I cannot say.
Lucas messed up his timeline, and Rowling her physics.
In Star Wars, by the time of the events in "A New Hope" happen, Obi Wan is either too young or too old, based upon Obi Wan's and Anakin's ages in "A Phantom Menace", and Luke's age at the beginning of "A New Hope". But that's what happens due to Lucas deciding that Darth Vader was Luke's father and Vader and Anakin were the same person, when, according to "A New Hope" they are separate people. The original Star Wars book even emphasized this point.
In Harry Potter, some of the timelines for various people don't quite add up, which are minor details for the most part. But she's inconsistent as to the need for a wand to perform magic. Clearly, Harry didn't need a wand to do magic prior to entering Hogwarts, and there are many spells in which a wand isn't needed. Of course, the wands were put in place to make a linkage between Harry and Voldemort, but the inconsistencies hurt the story line.
I liked the way that Pratchett and Gaiman solved the problems with names in "Good Omens", by having the modern Witch Hunter just using the items he has around the flat as the names for his troops.
I used to use the white pages to try to come up with names, much like you use the Baseball Directory. The problem with that, though, is when you want a name to have some meaning behind it (Adam Selene being a good example) but nothing too much on the nose. Sometimes the reader has to work for the connection.
I don’t know the “Star Wars” history well enough to comment…after the Ewoks, I dropped out. Too cutesy.
Same with the details on Harry Potter, but that’s simply because I have not watched all the movies.
The phone book is good…but they don’t make them any more.
The British Empire held its going-out-of-business sale in Christchurch, New Zealand, in 1997. The entire contents of the British Army Command Library from Hong Kong was on sale for $4 a book. I bought $400 NZ worth of books, all military history, of course.
However, the library had everything in its stacks, and New Zealanders swarmed over the piles for everything from children’s books to trade skills to romantic fiction…to London phone directories, to they could keep in touch with loved ones and friends back in the “Old Country.”
The New Zealand Army Museum got first dibs on the military stuff, I’m glad to say.
I tell people that the British Empire finished up in my home.
Growing up with the Star Wars universe, and being from Modesto, makes me very comfortable with what George Lucas created in his mythos. I had an idea for a noir adventure novel but needed a setting. So, lifting from Dashell Hammett, and a lot of other pop culture icons, and placing everything within a galaxy far, far away, appealed to me. I just hope I handled the military matters in a logical manner.
In your NZ book buying, did you pick up any books from MI5 or MI6? I'm sure that you were able to get a lot of unique books, some first editions, and maybe even some stuff that was signed by well known people.
Very good writing. Nice, tight, the story is holding up very well.
Thanks.
This story is appearing on Fanfiction, and I decided to write it after reading all three books.
I found the setting brilliant, the concept intriguing, and, as a government official and historian, wondering about two aspects of the situation:
The adults who fought the war
How the nation would pick up the pieces
I found the teenage love triangle annoying — like most teenage love triangle plots — but the concept of oppressed citizens fighting for freedom, gaining it, and rebuilding, to be fascinating stuff.
As you’ve seen, these folks are all adults. The closest to a teenager is the photographer, Ace Archer, who is kind of a “mismatched buddy” for our narrator. When I plotted this out, I saw him as a mix of “humorous sidekick” and “dramatic internal conflict,” as you have already seen.
I plotted this carefully before I wrote a word…I know how this will come out. It will take a long time, though.
One of the hardest things in this was coming up with names…fortunately, the Baseball Register solves that problem.
Yes, names are always a problem. I spend more time over names than I do plot and actual writing. The trouble with writing fiction is that it has to "feel" real or possible, and remain consistent to the "physics" of the universe it takes place in. You, as the writer can change a lot of stuff, so long as you're consistent. And, when you're playing in someone else's sandbox, you have to remain somewhat consistent to the "physics" of the place that they've already established.
One of the major flaws of the Harry Potter Series, and the Star Wars series, besides the messed up timelines, is that the author(s) were not consistent in the physics of the universe they created, too many exceptions to the "rules" that they establish from the first book. As a writer, you might create your laws of physics, but, once established, you cannot break those laws of physics.
I think that Collins did a good job in remaining true to the laws of physics that her first book established.
I was thinking that at nineteen your photographer is a bit too worldly and too cynical. I am presuming that there's a reason for that and the dialog seems to be bringing some of that out. I assume that he has an interesting back story that will/is be hinted at but that you will not lay out in your story.
As you might have seen, I've dropped my own story in my substack yesterday. I did it all at once instead of installments. Aside from a couple of typos, it was done and as polished as I was going to get it. I'm looking forward to the reviews.
In her later books, J.K. Rowling reached out to big fans of the “Harry Potter” series to keep her new works straight with what she had done before.
Paramount has a “Trekker” on the staff of its “Star Trek” team to ensure that the Andorians don’t look like Romulans.
I took a screenwriting class once. A student in it who had a disabling physical issue wrote a screenplay about a super-cop who gets injured and has to deal with partial paralysis. Obviously the usual thinly-disguised autobiography, but he did it well.
The problem was that his two cops were “Joe DeLuxe,” the cop who gets hurt, and his buddy was “Greg Standard.”
The instructor told him point-blank to change the names. I suggested the “Baseball Register.” I added that a name from that book could provide ethnicity and therefore, background.
"I was thinking that at nineteen your photographer is a bit too worldly and too cynical. I am presuming that there's a reason for that and the dialog seems to be bringing some of that out. I assume that he has an interesting back story that will/is be hinted at but that you will not lay out in your story."
The photographer grew up in the Capitol, which is the epicenter of cynicism. Because he's a photographer, he sees the world through a lens, and that has given him an interesting focus and view of it. More so I cannot say.
Yes, I'm catching that. Which is why I'm not asking for any revelations. They will be giving in the story, and they should be interesting.
It's always interesting to see a modern photographer's reaction to a camera obscura.
I gave these characters a lot of thought when I wrote them.
I wanted to avoid the cliches.
Lucas messed up his timeline, and Rowling her physics.
In Star Wars, by the time of the events in "A New Hope" happen, Obi Wan is either too young or too old, based upon Obi Wan's and Anakin's ages in "A Phantom Menace", and Luke's age at the beginning of "A New Hope". But that's what happens due to Lucas deciding that Darth Vader was Luke's father and Vader and Anakin were the same person, when, according to "A New Hope" they are separate people. The original Star Wars book even emphasized this point.
In Harry Potter, some of the timelines for various people don't quite add up, which are minor details for the most part. But she's inconsistent as to the need for a wand to perform magic. Clearly, Harry didn't need a wand to do magic prior to entering Hogwarts, and there are many spells in which a wand isn't needed. Of course, the wands were put in place to make a linkage between Harry and Voldemort, but the inconsistencies hurt the story line.
I liked the way that Pratchett and Gaiman solved the problems with names in "Good Omens", by having the modern Witch Hunter just using the items he has around the flat as the names for his troops.
I used to use the white pages to try to come up with names, much like you use the Baseball Directory. The problem with that, though, is when you want a name to have some meaning behind it (Adam Selene being a good example) but nothing too much on the nose. Sometimes the reader has to work for the connection.
I don’t know the “Star Wars” history well enough to comment…after the Ewoks, I dropped out. Too cutesy.
Same with the details on Harry Potter, but that’s simply because I have not watched all the movies.
The phone book is good…but they don’t make them any more.
The British Empire held its going-out-of-business sale in Christchurch, New Zealand, in 1997. The entire contents of the British Army Command Library from Hong Kong was on sale for $4 a book. I bought $400 NZ worth of books, all military history, of course.
However, the library had everything in its stacks, and New Zealanders swarmed over the piles for everything from children’s books to trade skills to romantic fiction…to London phone directories, to they could keep in touch with loved ones and friends back in the “Old Country.”
The New Zealand Army Museum got first dibs on the military stuff, I’m glad to say.
I tell people that the British Empire finished up in my home.
Growing up with the Star Wars universe, and being from Modesto, makes me very comfortable with what George Lucas created in his mythos. I had an idea for a noir adventure novel but needed a setting. So, lifting from Dashell Hammett, and a lot of other pop culture icons, and placing everything within a galaxy far, far away, appealed to me. I just hope I handled the military matters in a logical manner.
In your NZ book buying, did you pick up any books from MI5 or MI6? I'm sure that you were able to get a lot of unique books, some first editions, and maybe even some stuff that was signed by well known people.
I have not read the entire chapter yet, but I'm putting this here because I remembered to look up the book and also put it here for you:
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Daikon/Samuel-Hawley/9781668083055
Thanks!